Today you would have been 72 years old. All this week I would have been planning your dinner or get together, it was weird not to do so. I am so glad we threw a nice shindig last year for you. I had no idea it would be your last but such is life, such is death. It still feels like it wasnt that long ago. I miss you dad. I am sure I always will. I know you live in me and I feel your presence sometimes when I say certain things or when I know exactly what you would say on certain ocassions and I smile when that happens. You would never want us to be sad and I know you would love to be remembered with a smile. So I will do just that. Happy birthday Papi! I love you.
PS. There is a solar eclipse today. You would have been all into that and would probably be writing about it for your radio talk show. :)
Recently, I went to a Depache Mode concert. Suffice to say, I did not expect what I got. I have always been somewhat of a fan and always found Dave's (frontman) voice sexy and mysterious so I thought I was getting some sort of dark sexy show. And it was in some parts. But I was not expecting to also see and hear dread. Unbeknownst to me, one of the band members passed away a year ago. So the conversation of death was present in their new material and having never even heard their new stuff, I felt it. Especially when they sung "Speak to me", which is dark but full of hope.
But there was another song in their setlist that was also new to me called Ghosts Again. At first I liked the tune as it reminded me of something from my youth. Sounded like the group Moenia a bit. Then I heard it again on my own and it quickly became one of my favorite songs. The lyrics arent detailed or complex, but hit hard to the reality that we are all going to die one day. I mean, their album is called Memento Mori, which means, remember we all must die. It's true.
I dont know if it was the pandemic or the fact that I am getting older or both, but I have lost so many people in the past 3 1/2 years. People that I wouldnt think it was their time because they werent old. And they all hurt. When someone dies, it is always a reminder of how short life can be and how death is inevitable but then time heals you and you forget.
Then someone very close to you dies. In my case, my father. He was always there, always present. Someone who has been there all your life. Has seen you through everything in your own life, a baby, a child, a teenager, an adult, a mother.... just always there and then... he's not, just gone. As the song says, "everybody says goodbye". Because it is true, eventually if you dont leave, you get left behind. It is just natural and it is inevitable. There is nothing truer than memento mori.
I leave you with the music video and song. Below an article and the band's take on the song. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have these past couple of weeks.
February 10, 2023 Music / Premium Depeche Mode, Ghosts Again: the lyrics & their meaning Posted by Auralcrave Ghosts Again is a song released by Depeche Mode in 2023, the first single anticipating their album Memento Mori. It represents the first music officially released after the death of their keyboardist Andy Fletcher in 2022: Depeche Mode are now composed only of Dave Gahan and Martin Gore, two survivors dealing with death in their new album. Let’s analyze the meaning of the lyrics and how it fits the latest phase of their career. You will also find the complete lyrics at the end. You can watch the official video of Ghosts Again below. Depeche Mode - Ghosts Again (Official Video) Watch this video on YouTube. Dealing with death: Ghosts Again, the lyrics and their meaning Ghosts Again is a song about death and mortality. In the lyrics, Depeche Mode reflects on how life looks temporary, and weightless, when we think about death and how it can suddenly put everything into a different perspective. In the video, Martin Gore and Dave Gahan reenact the historical chess game with the Death from Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal, a symbol of the impossible challenge for a human to win over death.
The lyrics of Ghosts Again are short and highly symbolic. They describe how things in life can suddenly disappear, break, and vanish. Reflecting on our mortal nature, we realize that one day we will be ghosts (again), dissolving our material consistency.
It’s a series of thoughts that don’t really bring us in any specific direction. If any, they invite us to be less attached to the material things of life: they will all be gone, and they can disappear in a single moment if death comes to visit us. Even faith and love can’t help: inevitably, life will turn into a ghost one day.
The meaning of the lyrics in Ghosts Again, therefore, represents Depeche Mode’s first take on life and death, after Andy Fletcher left the world. Memento Mori, the title of their new album, is a Latin expression meaning “remember you must die,” revealing that death will be a heavy topic of their music in 2023. Let’s wait for more songs and words in the upcoming months.
Damn that was a good season and they really brought it in the last 2 episodes. So go watch it.
The point of this blog is not so much to talk about the seasons itself or what has happened. I guess I was very sad once I realized that it was over for a while. It may sound silly but I feel like my friends have gone away. This show was my comfort zone right now. I just barely started watching it a few months ago but I really got to binge the whole thing a couple of month ago and it really distracts me from whatever sadness haunts me. I think it kinda has to do with the fact that this is a show about vampires and in a weird way it comforts me to see some sort of immortality being portrayed even if it's just fiction. Makes me miss my dad even more, I mean it hasnt been that long and I'm still pretty raw about it. I just wish he could've lived longer. It's odd for me to make that connection but it exists in my head.
So without spoiling it too much, all I can say is Nandor takes the end of the season and makes it his and it very well deserved IMO. Talk about character development. I mean shit gets real and it makes you feel things. It was good. Very good writing.
I did read that they are planning a season 6. So Hollywood please get your shit together and pay these writers what they are worth. Also the cast and crew while you are at it. They have certainly earned it.
Hopefully I wont have to wait too long before I see my buddies again.
So, hurricane Harold touched ground yesterday in SPI, pretty much the Gulf in South Texas. That means Laredo got a bit of it. It rained for about 5 hours straight. The trash bin was empty from trash but the lid was open, I kid you not it was half way full from rain water. 2 to 3 inches my ass. My pool got destroyed. It looks like a chocolate pond out of a Willy Wonka movie. I've been doing back washes and treating it. I've cleaned it before when it's like this and it does take a few days, but hopefully the pool ppl come today and help out. I'm sure about half of the dirt that was in there is gone but there's still a lot. But there's progress, I can already see the first step.
So I started this about 4 hours ago and got busy grocery shopping and then putting stuff away.
Update on the pool. The pool guy was here and told me to never turn on the pump when I'm trying to clean out dirt and debris. That I need to let it settle to the ground so it can be extracted better, which makes a lot of sense. The other pool ppl I had told me the opposite!!! I feel like I have wasted precious time cleaning the pool. Ugh. Let's see if it settles enough for tomorrow.
Oh and I feel like crap. I am feeling fatigued. I'm wondering if it's allergies or if I caught something.
I went home for lunch, not really to eat. I usually dont eat when I go home, but I used to go to let the dogs out since they were alone most of the day. But since now X is there, I dont really have to worry about it at all. I go just to hang out with my crew. It's good to leave the office and spend time with your loved ones if possible and my office is close by.
So I get to the house and do the usual things, say hi to X, the pups, check my phone, snack on a thing or 2, chat for a bit, etc. I was getting ready to put on my shoes to leave and X decides to give me a foot massage. My gosh, that man really knows how to use his hands. He puts the right amount of pressure, his hands are strong but soft. It just feels so good. It is crazy how he has made my inhibitions drop so much. I remember there was a time when I wouldnt let anyone touch my feet. I still dont like people looking at them. Still he made me comfortable enough to allow him to do it. And now I even let the pedicure people massage them. So much pressure goes to the legs and feet all day. I think everyone should get one every other week. Or at least once a month. For the most part, people that do that for a living are good at it, but nobody does it better than X.
And now the day has gotten a lot better. It had started off a little sideways and I was in a grouchy mood because of it. As the day progressed it got a little less annoying. But now with this, any lingering annoyance has vaporized and I can't even remember why I was cranky to begin with. That is how good his hands are. I count my blessings with this man. Idk. I thought I'd share this. He makes me happy.
Studies in modern movement is probably one of the best episodes of #Community
After watching it a few times over the last couple of years, I came to the realization that Jeff wasn't being selfish, he was going through something big and needed to be alone. Remember this episode comes after Pierce's dad dies following an argument with Jeff and this seems to have an effect on him. For example, the girl at the shop was throwing herself at him and he didn't follow through (so not like him). At the end he's crying over the death of a make believe horse. Jeff was going through serious crap. When he has the argument with the dean after the karaoke song, it's because the dean read the email he wrote to his therapist about being alone. They do it as such a throwaway line but it's pretty big. If you haven't noticed it, watch it again. It's deep and shows you how broken some people are and they pretend not to be. One really never knows what someone is going through, so let's try to be kind all the time. Hats off to the writers.
It's one of those non eventful days today. We are mid summer. Work has been busy thankfully. Having my office in the back is the best thing ever as I dont have to listen to people's children. I know that sounds mean but I cant help it. I have little patience with wild children. There's some very well behaved children but the ones I usually see here are terrible. It's not their fault. The parents suck. Not sure why they even have kids if they are not going to educate them and mind them.
I dont know what else to say. I feel unmotivated right now. Like I was on a roll earlier but I feel like all of a sudden I have no direction. I think it is time to go home. Still gotta make dinner.
My afternoons are so short when I get home. I thought I might go for a swim but I am lazy at this point. Maybe I will aram. Maybe not. we will see.
