Friends and get togethers 2024 edition

Before I start writing about this, I want to make sure that I state that I mean no real offense to anyone and this is just me using this medium as some sort of therapy.  I am sure 99% of people I know IRL dont read my stuff or dont know about this blog.  But I mean no offense to any of them as I love them all dearly.

Weird how life changes so much in a span of a handful of years.  I see my past photos of friends and get togethers and I miss that fun and comraderie.  Why have we all grown so apart?  

I could say I have outgrown them, but they could have also outgrown me.  Or maybe we have picked up different interests along the way.

I went to a get together to a friend's house this past weekend.  It had been ages since we last got together like this.  Like the whole group.  I wanted to go, I keep saying I want to meet new people and make new friends but these people have been my friends for years and I care deeply for them, it's just... not the same anymore.  

I had been wanting to get out of the house and socialize and get dressed up, etc.  Just normal human activity and interaction.  X doesnt care for it too much.  He would be happy not leaving the house ever.  I like staying in, but every now and then, I need to get out.  I feel like I suffocate if I dont get out out of the house sometimes.

X was out.  He didnt wanna go so he didnt go.  My stepson (M20) decided he would accompany me bc he was also bored and wanted to leave the house as well.  So off we went.

So going back to the party.  Everyone was very welcoming and inviting.  It was nice to see everyone.  But if I am honest, it almost felt forced.  By the second hour I was there, I started to realize what am I doing here?  I feel more alone now than I did before I left the house.  My girlfriends, all they do is talk about diseases.  WTF kind of a party is this?  I get that sometimes it turns a bit personal and you can share shit for 5-10 minutes at most but you shouldnt make the whole night about that.  

I looked around, another GF was just quietly sitting across from us getting drunk.  Either because she was bored or didnt want to think about her own ailments.  A couple of the guys didnt even bother coming outside.  They stayed inside watching loud concerts.  I would have gone inside, but it was waaaaay too loud.  So no chance for a conversation at all.  Another one of my guy friends was sitting accross from me just shooting the shit and honestly the better part of the night and it wasnt even that much better either.  The rest of the people were moving around from outside to inside and I guess trying to find a comfort spot to hang out in.

This went on for a good 45 minutes to an hour until I told myself, what are you still doing here?  Why are you forcing yourself to be here and be bored to tears.  I felt like whatever disease they were talking about I was starting to get symptoms of it.  To each their own I guess.  But I dont like talking about negative stuff.  And these girls, everytime they get together, thats all they talk about.  Like dont you have anything else to talk about?  Separated, those 2 can be quite fun, but I know that if they get together it turns into a bitchfest about ailments and bad relationships.  

Dont get me wrong, I care about my pals, I just dont want to hear about the same thing over and over.  Tell me the 2 min version and then lets move on, ya know?  Unless we specifically met to talk about this, a party is not the place to do this IMO.

So am I the asshole here?  I can't help the way I feel and I do try to be nice and give everyone my attention when they need it.  But this time I felt like I was just there like another piece of furniture.  I tried to change the conversation to something more light, but it didnt work.  Then when I finally said, ok let's go, both hosts were like, OH NO, why so early?  Like really?  (BTW, stepson said hed never go again lol).

So my whole point about this is, I went out because I felt like I needed a change in atmosphere and just socialize.  I dont know what I was expecting TBH, but I left the place feeling more lonely than before I got there.  I just cant relate to anyone at the moment and I feel lost.  

This has nothing to do with my household or my family (that's a whole other thing).  This is specifically my local friends.  And with that being said, I am probably just as un-interesting to them.  Or maybe it was just an off night.  Or the setting was not ideal and everyone pretty much forced ourselves to go for the same reason I did.

I may be the problem, I expect too much and there's maybe not much left to enjoy.  IDK.  I will try again sometime soon.

Post Thanksgiving blog

Well Thanksgiving came and went and I am happy to say that it was a great success!  

There was plenty of food, plenty of drink, plenty of laughs and singing and rock band.  I was both happy to see everyone and exhausted for all the work and love we put into the event. Not to mention the fact that I had been preparing all week for an event at work for Black Friday (which was also a success!).

I was afraid at some point it would turn into drama because some of us are no longer around, but that didnt happen.  At least not that I know.  I did get tiny moments where I would think of my dad and how I was always trying to impress him with the wine I bought or the drink I made for him, and at some point we would have small talk about politics, but it would be soon broken up by my mother and we would continue with something else that was just ours and nobody else cared about.  We were like that sometimes.  And then I'd think of my Rory and how he'd be enjoying the party and trying to catch anything that fell from the table.  My little kitchen companion.  But those tiny moments were moments of nostalgia that didnt go any further as I would be required to go help out or someone needed me or wanted my attention.  All in all, it was mostly fun with a side of nostalgia.  Which, to me, is how a holiday party should be.  

I already miss everyone but I guess that is why it is so special.  If you had that every weekend, it would not be the same.  It is special because we give ourselves time to miss each other.  And also because as we get older, we start losing more people and it really makes you think about your own mortality, like is this my last one? or so and so is looking a little bit off or feeble and you start to wonder...😬  It's a little morbid, I know, but it is kind of inevitable to push aside.  It is what it is, just odd how these are things that dont even cross your mind when youre 20 or 30.  But I digress... there's still another party coming anyway, we are having one for Xmas but that one will be hosted by my sister thankfully so I can relax and have a good time.  I only have to worry about my drink and possibly a side and I promise you that it will not be the green pasta.  Maybe one day I'll blog about that green pasta and the work it takes to make.  

It is crazy how November is gone already.  This year has been a breeze but also the longest year if that makes sense.  Hell, I remember how just January felt like it had an extra week, man it felt like forever.  It was too much.  Like the first half of the year was slow and then the second just flew.  As soon as summer started it just went by so quick.

Well, that's it for today.  Need to get back to work and make some coin.  Bills aint gonna pay themselves.  

Have a good weekend reader!